On the fourth of July just past, my folks would have been married for 91
years since they eloped in 1933, a couple of days after my mother’s
sister, Mary, married Bob, the love
of her life. In the photo shown from my aunt’s special day, my mama is
the dark-haired beauty with that ethereal expression, seated to her far
right. I’ve often wondered why they chose to run away to tie the knot,
but I know that it’s not the hoopla that’s important, just the couple’s
endearing love for each other that matters.
But even if the gods are smiling on us throughout our matrimonial years, there are always bumps in the road to get around.
My mother was often sad. My father was often distant. But we kids knew there was a great deal of love
between them. We could feel it hanging around In our house mixed in the
air and everywhere, even if they sometimes disagreed. My mom taught us
to always look forward to when our daddy would be home and we did that
quite well. He grounded us to our loving reality just by being there
despite his many quiet moments. Being a genius wasn’t easy, I guess. He
was probably thinking about inventing some mechanical gizmo for the
aerospace industry and whoever else needed something produced out of his
ideas, including a magician that needed extra props to make coins
disappear.
My mother was such a natural at loving, she defies
description. Let me just say that she put her heart into everything she
did, her cooking and baking, sewing our clothes, washing our clothes,
keeping the house clean…all of that was accompanied by great
vigor and gusto. She was our creative genie and made stuff out of
nothing too, just like my dad. In her outgoing way she spoke easily to
others, strangers or friends. My dad was more cerebral a lot more often,
absorbed in other thoughts. But my mother went through her life singing
and playing the piano and laughing easily and crying easily and I am
like both of them but more like her emotionally. So, I find myself at
odds with myself because I do also go deep into intellectual pursuits
but like Dorothy, I can usually switch gears and come back into the
present as if I never left.
But sometimes, like today, my heart
aches to even remember these old thoughts about them and how blissful I
felt growing up. I never wanted any other parents and rarely if ever
argued with either of them as a kid or even when I was older. They were
just the best parents I could have ever hoped for and I always felt
lucky about that.
My own anniversary of my first marriage is coming
up too. From here it feels like it happened in another lifetime. I was
19 years young and so trusting of life in general. We all were in those
days. But looking back at that time has bitter and sweet running through
it that I never saw coming. Thank God for that. Had I known I’d
probably still be hiding out from life instead of embracing it and
moving forward, step by step.