Penny’s Passing

I haven’t been able to express much more than furtive pleas to God to explain this to me. Why it happened so fast at the end when her children finally told us what was going on with her, when it was too late to help her. I have been a catatonic me ever since. Either sobbing uncontrollably or sitting and staring out through the window panes of the French doors, where I’ve been situated for hours at a time. This isn’t like me at all. Usually, I go outside and play in my garden but even that has had a dark veil of painful memories attached to it.
Although we lived thousands of miles apart, when we were together, we were really connected in all ways. Everything I did with her was meaningful. We were so aligned and alike in the most wonderful ways. And she doted on me, her little sister.
Today, three weeks after her passing, I finally got up the nerve to look at some of the last photos taken of her on our last trip. We stayed with her at her gorgeous house that showed off her feelings about her life in every room and in every outside area. She didn’t miss much in her journey. John had taken ill at the start of the trip, which meant that we’d be staying put in her house for the entire 6 weeks.
Thank God for that time spent together.