I don’t know how this normal day happened in the midst of our personal
turmoil over John’s declining health. But it did. We had perfect weather
that was hot with a blue sky and hardly a cloud, but not much wind. So
first we sat and ruminated with a cup of something near our first fish
pond. I took my gumboots off and socks and put my bare feet on the lush
grass in front of me. John didn’t. He was more comfortable with just
sitting in the sun and having his feet extended onto another chair.
We
chatted quietly and thought about what we wanted to accomplish. After
leaving that area John laid down on the grass in the front garden and
seemed very relaxed while I planted endless clumps of needle thin green
onions in a nearby bucket. This took forever, giving John ample time to
really rest. We had just finished another project we wanted to
accomplish by cleaning up the claw foot bath that was in a corner of the
back garden that needed regenerating and a few extra plants. I did all
of the planting and water sprinkling and he did most of the carting
around of supplies and tools needed for various chores. That arrangement
suited both of us. Although it may not sound very exciting, for us it
was the first normal daytime activity we’d done together in ages. We
have been running from pillar to post trying to find a balance between
worrying about his health and feeling that despite the prognosis, we’ve
got this covered with life enhancing alternative treatments that we know
work.
Conventional medicine told us that this is incurable and
aggressive. We took that in but knew of other ways that can be very
effective so have pinned our hopes on, and we have put our trust in
those other methods. It takes so much courage to face this head on and
to go into an alternative mindset when dealing with serious illness, but
we feel that it’s the only option available that gets us to the cure.
So we need more normal days and nights to keep his attitude up and his
sanity in attendance.
It is much easier to just wallow in the unknown but of course that leads nowhere.
So,
we’ve got lots of different things lined up and have found a lovely
doctor to consult with too for some help with anxiety using an
anticancer medication. We have high hopes for success and feel that’s
the only way to attack this head on with everything we’ve got.
Wish us luck. That seems to always help too no matter the odds.
I
saw the rather fat rhubarb flowers while I was cleaning up a really
messy plot of cos lettuce that had weeds coming through the back fence
in profusion. To the side of that area was John’s plot of rhubarb and
chives and parsley but something seemed to be growing out of the rhubarb
leaves that resembled limey yellow green mini broccoli. I wasn’t even
sure if they were flowers or the beginnings of seeds but I knew that
they needed to be cut off from the stalks and after I did that, it felt
natural to put them in assorted vases. They’ve lasted a few days and
still look quite beautiful though a bit dog eared and floppy. See what
you think from these photos.
We’ve been here almost 14 years yet
I’ve never noticed them. Goes to show you where my head has been.
Hmmm…I wonder what else I’ve missed around the place and in my garden
particularly. I guess that’s just a human frailty that I have, to look
without seeing, without comprehending or taking note of. Oh well. I
mustn’t be too hard on myself. I need to be a tower of strength and
positivity for John. There will be plenty of time for self-incriminating
thoughts once we’re past this hurdle. Or not.